So....

More and more I find myself wishing you were here, or atleast that I wasn't so painfully aware of your absence. I almost wish that I could return to my old detached,isolated,uncaring ways but you've moved into my heart and become comfortable. It's been the first time in, forever, but I've found something I truly think I want to see last. Yeah....sounds about right.

Urgh

The fire in my eyes has taken refuge in my soul & I don't kno that it will relinquish its hold....I'm really havin a sucky day. I wish there was atleast one good thing 2 turn it around but alas I've found nothing

Lies

Sometimes people lie to keep others safe 7 I've always wondered how that works. I kno my family & friends well enuf to kno when they're lying even by ommission of truth but there are times when I let them. I've never been sure why but over the years I've realized sometimes people just want to keep a guard b4 their hurt so....I let them keep their lies

Conversation

You know I was talkin to a friend the other day and it was so weird because I had this thought. It was like suddenly the conversation itself was alive,living breathing moving, thriving off of our ideas and our sameness. We talked well into the night until the we had exhausted not only the conversation but ourselves as well and it left me feeling quite accomplished like something amazing had just been born simply by letting our thoughts flow.

Thoughts on Love

So I was thinking about my very 1st boyfriend today & how I kind of miss him but then I thought about it more and realized that it would be more appropriate to say I miss the idea of him how he used to be because I'm sure he's different now as am I.

Needless to say this whole thought led me to ponder whether or not I'd love him the same, love him differently or not love him at all and vice versa leaving me with the question Is it possible for someone from your past to assimilate with the new person you've become?? Hmm

Live

High stakes

fast pace

shared space

hearts race

about face

found mistakes

never erase

or replace

lifes not a race

it's a....JOURNEY

Wish

U kno so many time's in life we deny ourselves hope, we refuse 2 see the light @ the end of the cold dark tunnel 4 fear of finding it's ot what we were lookin 4 exactly. Of this I 2 am guilty & in thru my own pessimism I pushed away the thing I wanted most so I sit here day in and day out and shelter this small bit of hope, shower it with my love, nurture it and love it so that hopefully one day I'll be able 2 harvest all the loove & attention I crave but until then all I have is this frail thing called hope & a wish 4 change